Close friends have selective vision!

Too often couples neglect the friendship aspect of marriage and find themselves regularly causing harm to the bonds of love.

June 16

Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends.

Proverbs 17:9

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Close friends have selective vision!

Friendship can take a very long time to develop between people; but it only takes a moment to destroy.  One of things that my friends know about me is that I am not perfect.  There are aspects of my character that God is still working on.  I know I am not perfect.  The Lord is really good at reminding me of my faults.

For someone to become a close friend to me, they will need to figure out how they are going to deal with my faults.  If my faults are particularly offensive to them, they will probably not become close friends with me.  Our verse for the day gives us the idea that there is a way for close friendships to develop; disregarding their faults.

Everyone has faults, weaknesses, or character traits that we might find unappealing.  To allow friendship and love to flourish, we need to disregard these faults in others.  To disregard also means to overlook, or to ignore the faults.  There is a good reason for this; “Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw rocks.”  This old saying reminds us that we all live in “glass houses’, we all have faults that we would like others to overlook.

One of things that I have discovered over the years as a pastor is that most people are very protective of their heart.  They do not let just anyone in close.  The reason is because most have learned the hard way that the closer someone gets to you, the more it hurts when they betray you.  That is what the second half of today’s verse is referring to.  The closer you get to me, the more obvious my faults become.  Because of our closeness, I expect some level of loyalty.

Exposing the faults of a friend is a betrayal of the trust implied in friendship, and it destroys or at least damages the bond of love.  This is one of the causes of married people falling out of love.  Too often couples neglect the friendship aspect of marriage and find themselves regularly causing harm to the bonds of love.

Everyone around you may know that your spouse has some fault, but they should never hear it from you.  You should not participate in any conversation that discusses your spouse’s faults.  And you should be quick to point out the strengths of your spouse to those who might want to expose their faults to others.  Friendship in marriage or anywhere else demands loyalty.

If you find yourself in a place where you are struggling to disregard the faults of another, go to them and ask them how you can help them in this area of their life.  But before you do, understand that they may not be ready to change.  If you need more help, go to your spiritual advisor.  Be careful not to gossip; your main goal should be to learn how to love this person regardless of their faults.  God’s goal is always unity and communion.  We need to always be looking for ways to draw people together and to avoid anything that creates any kind of division.  Jesus, thank You for dying for our faults.

Daily Bible Reading Plan:
Daily Bible Reading: 1 Kings 15:25-17:24; Acts 10:24-48; Psalm 134:1-3; Proverbs 17:9-11

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